The Power of Recognition

As I've said before, one of the questions that they ask on the developmental surveys is, "Does your child recognize you?" When I first read that question, I wondered how one would be able to tell. I mean, he was four months old! An infant! He can't say, "Hey mom!" How do others know if their baby recognizes them? And while I was sitting there agonizing over how to answer this one question (out of like fifty many of which were equally baffling), I thought of a moment just a few weeks prior.

I had gone to his crib to wake him up only to discover he was already up! And he looked right up at me, we made eye contact, and his face lit up into a smile. It was so cool!

I described this to the developmental psychologist, and she patiently explained that was exactly right! And immediately checked something off on her chart.

The only thing was I had only ever seen him do that once. And that one time, was before he ever had a seizure. But I did take comfort in other small things - like the fact that I could sooth him when he was distraught or teething. Or being able to make him laugh!

But a lot of the time, we'd get nothing. We try to play with him, sing to him, dance with him, or read to him, and so often there would be no response. So I'd put him down and he'd wiggle and squirm on the floor. It was honestly hard to engage with him as much as a I felt a child should need, just because it was sometimes like interacting with a wall.

We are still seizure free. Today we're working on day ten! I have no idea what changed. And I have no idea if it will last, but it's been amazing to watch Cyrus come alive. On days five, six and seven the choreiform movements have lessened in intensity, if not in frequency. And he's become so responsive! He's looking at things and experimenting with all kinds of weird sounds that I don't know how to emulate. And if you talk to him, he talks back!

And on day eight and nine he has been so happy! He's been smiling and laughing socially, or giggling because we were pushing the wheelchair fast and then slow and then we did a wheelie! We took him to class on Tuesday - something we've been doing for over a year and never had a problem because he's so calm! But this time, he was so joyful! He was cooing and laughing and smiling. I actually couldn't hold him as this seemed to set him off further. When I put him on the floor, he was still happy, but more quietly so. But if I or dad picked him up he'd just turn into a little laughing motormouth!

And I realized then, he recognizes us. He knows who we are. And he probably has all along even if he is not always able to show it. I need to always remember this experience. And I need to never take it for granted.

We hope this trend continues and that we get to keep getting to know Cyrus better! It certainly makes it harder to get things done, as he is present and he wants to engage and play all afternoon and night! (He's seems to hate mornings). But I wouldn't have it any other way!

A few other notes: 
On Tuesday, we had an excellent appointment with the neurologist who assured us that if he suffered brain damage enough to get rid of the seizures that he would be near comatose right now. So this change may just be part of his progression. She also told us that since September Cyrus has continued to surprise her with how well he's been doing - with how well he's been growing and progressing. So even if it feels aggravatingly slow to us at times, we have to remember that he's already defying the odds.

This powerful piece is really what has got me thinking about recognition this last week. And while, it's not related to our experience other than that, it's a good read about a difficult moment. A beautiful piece that I recommend reading!

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